Zoe, My Foster Fail

Zoe was my very first foster. She was dropped off at my house by the Dexter Foundation on February 8, 2020, exactly one month until Los Angeles went into lockdown due to the Covid pandemic.

Zoe was my pandemic pup. I don’t think I could have survived the lockdown without her. I live alone and we were each other’s entire worlds.

She’s still my entire world.

The rescue warned me that Zoe was shy but she’d come around eventually. She said Zoe had been found on the streets and must’ve been abused because she’s extremely skittish, especially around men.

“You guys will be great for each other, I just know it!” the rescue volunteer gushed as she dropped off Zoe’s bed, food, and toys before leaving.

Immediately Zoe darted underneath the couch and refused to come out. I’d only had one dog previously, a rat terrier named Hanalei who was afraid of nothing.

What if Zoe never emerged from underneath the couch? What if I couldn’t win her over?

I coaxed her with treats but Zoe refused to come out of hiding. She stared at me warily. I finally laid down on the floor with peanut butter treats next to me and waited. And waited. I don’t know how long I stayed there but after what felt like close to an hour, she finally crept out from underneath the couch and tentatively ate a treat. And then another one.

A few minutes later we were on our first walk together.

When the pandemic hit a month later, my world quickly shrank and it became just me and Zoe. I never had a pup who was so in tune with my emotions. She knew when I was anxious or upset and stayed right by my side. She’d look up at me with her soulful eyes and snuggle close as if to say, “It’ll be okay, mama.”

I knew we were meant to be together and I officially adopted her not long after.

I wholeheartedly believe she is out there somewhere and I pray she’s being kept safe. I will never give up searching for her until she’s back home with me.

I know in my heart she is alive and one day we’ll be together again.